Well Wishers

Vivahascha Vivadascha Samayoreva Shobhathe
Whether it is marriage or discussion it will glitter only during the occasion; In India marriages used to be conducted for four to five days reflecting the economic strength, get together, gathering, gaiety, gorgeousness, which the author also used to attend. First it is nischitartam. Both the parties meet and exchange consent letters - in Tamilnadu, yellow background with green letters, signifying sanctity. Then purchase of sarees and pattus in Madras, preferably Kumarans, Nallis - big border sarees for the girl, her mother, sister in law, medium for kins, same pattern for pattus and angavastram follows. Preparation of the jewelry, a ring for the king, tali and bottu for the bride, then choosing of the choultry - a status symbol, kins used to arrive in advance to prepare bakshanams. Before marriage, suvasini pooja or mangili pondu remembering the by-gone ladies when their husbands were alive, Swamisamaradhana, Worship of the Kuladevata for the successful operation of the wedding, pandal worship, arrangement of fleet of vehicles for transportation, booking rooms for the bridegroom parties in the choultry, vadhya ghoshti from Tamilnadu to mesmerize the audience. On the day of janavasam a flower decked car will take the bridegroom to the temple in a procession. Then reading of patrika, the menu will be idli, kesari, vada and tasty meals. Next day, Banaras tour by the bridegroom, oonjal and then mangalyadharanam. The priest will render mantras with his vibrant voice; perform saptapadi, requesting the people to offer gifts after this function. Tiffin - pongal, dosai, heavy meals. Then reception. The glittering gala function, the couples getting exhausted by doing ‘ut-byte’ (standing and sitting constantly). Then koottusaadam and bidding farewell. Kins and friends will comment that such a grand marriage is a rare gala occasion not witnessed in recent years. The kins will get a chance to meet and assemble in one place, exchange pleasantries, experiences, heart to heart with well wishers.

Even when a person gets a degree there is so much pride in the family as he is the first person to get the same. He will arrange a get together followed by his parents. The convocation day is an occasion to collect the certificate from the chancellor. Adding colour and cluster to his achievement, it is an unforgettable movement, with no comment, mere excitement, a dignified entertainment for a life-time achievement. The dream of decades becoming a reality, to don a new role of authority, and in the days to come to welcome a beauty as his consort and lead a new life in a new capacity in a metropolitan city, bubbling with activity, where there is vanity, variety, velocity. In the same way the visit to the states is a lifetime achievement because behind it there is a lot of activity, anxiety, lot of ambiguity to be resolved, authority by the officialdom, ability provided by the kins, animosity because of the unknown place, adoptability coming by compulsion, adaptability in culture, austerity in the amount to be spent, affordability in respect of finance, acceptability by one and all.

The first person to be commended is Sri K. V. Ramakrishnan, who blessed us in our residence, offering some items for passing to the kins, and offered some American coins to become Akshaya in future. Second to be commended is my second daughter Sow Anupama and son-in-law Mohan, who came all the way from Bombay, to help us in packing, printing of covering pages, for the boxes, putting confidence, preaching patience, helping morally, financially, and psychologically. For us who are illiterate in the international affairs, their presence was a confidence building measure. If she had been married abroad our condition would have become miserable. The third to be commended is my younger brother Sri T R Jayaram and his Mrs Revathy who from the day of submitting the application to the day of embarking helped every moment in every way to see that everything was perfect. The supper was their effort before our departure. Revathy was in charge of all the activities during our absence.

Ten plates cannot be equal to one plantain leaf. Ten hills can’t make a mountain; likewise, my first brother a man for all the occasions gave adequate information, came to airport with his Mrs to bid us farewell afterwards to report and lend us support. My sister also has a share in lending the support as she is the messenger of the holy mother and the words she utters is a succor to remember. The tenant of my house, who is not only giving rent but also benevolent sent by the Lord too gave us courage, confidence, assuring us to look after the house, as we are departing from here for a long time. His Mrs is a combination of courtesy, cordiality and companionship, MR. T. V. Satyanarayana, our chaetered accountant, a devotee of Sri Lord Narasimha, a Gyana Brahma, a remover of dilemmas, Sri Vasudeva Rao, our neighbour, a well- wisher, a confidence builder, Sri Krishnamurthy from Vellore (Revathy’s father) a scholar, well- wisher, a radar who will anchor our ship till we reach the shore.

Sri Vigneswara, our local deity, the remover of all the obstacles in all the affairs and Sri Kukke Subrahmanyeshwara, our kuladeivam who stands mum but beats the drum signaling the victory in all our activities, helping to hum happily, Even though the difficulties may be some, helping us to come out of the humdrum, the one and only Lord, loveable, laudable, Lokanayaka. The biggest support is Sri Avani MahaSwamigal and Sharadambal whose revered bliss is flowing like the river Ganga, his words reverberating in our ears, his presence always having a place in our conscience, whom we are adoring, praying saluting all the time.
My sambandhi Sri S K Iyer and his kins whose offspring is here and sprouts like a flower in spring season. When we utter the word Mrs Rajam, a gem, an amalgam of affection, information and other noble qualities. The last one is my mother who like a flower decided to shower on us to cover not only our journey but recover from all the obstacles uncovering her depth of Himalayan affection providing succor to us to take the plunge which will occur only in a lifetime. Though we incur heavy expenditure the war of achievement we conquer will be equal to any tanker that shoots off the enemy military bunker with gratitude as we do not for any power hanker.